Weekends over

Well ive had a few days to think about things

Ruths been off tot he great north Run, and ive been at home with Jamie, however saying that ive not seen that much of him

i thought i was getting on top of things but as i walked into the building of the terrorist (aka my therapist) my emotions exploded, i hadn't even spoken to her, ive been buttoning stuff up so much...

so, i talked about hitting myself, and having soo much anger but anger not aimed at anyone even me.

This time the EMDR stuff was buzzers in my hands, round and round we go in circles about freeze frame images and related feelings......

but all the time my head coming back to 'what am i going to do' She again insists that i shouldn't be going back to the same environment that i 'had the trauma' but what can i do i have a family to care for, bills to pay

She thinks ill get worse if i go back, but what can i do???